What is true beauty? Is it really based on the outward appearance, or does it come from the person you are within? These are things that I have struggled with for many years, even in the past year or so after losing the weight on the Weight Watchers program. Even though I have lost the weight, I still struggle with feeling out of shape and not feeling attractive because of my stomach.
I was pregnant for most of the 90s, having 5 of my 6 children during those years. After having my 5th one, the doctor told me that my stomach muscles were so stretched out that it would take more than crunches to get it back down into shape. She was so right.
So, even though the weight is down, the stomach is still around. Do I want to have surgery? I just do not know. After seeing what pain Kate Gosselin went through after her surgery, I just do not know if I can handle it. Being a Christian and knowing that God looks at the heart and not the outward appearance, would it be vain of me to do so? These are the questions that plague me.
The world puts so much emphasis on being super thin, having the perfect body, with the perfect abs. Is that really what life is all about? Is that really what it takes to be truly "beautiful"? Is there really any such thing as the "perfect" body? Would having surgery to fix my "problem" area send the right message to my own 3 daughters?
Surgery or no surgery? I just don't know. It is quite a big and painful step!
For now, I will just meditate on what God thinks. All I know is this:
"For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16: 7b
For now, I will just keep up with the crunches.....
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